the month started sour with me realizing that the worst thing that can cause one extreme pain, is when you consider someone a friend and yet they cant even give you the respect to tell you what is wrong with you and the opportunity to make steps to redeem yourself. i felt that I was such a terrible person for people to just leave me like that without even knowing what was wrong. you end up guessing and assuming all the worst things and my imagination is way too creative!
it blows up your self esteem tank and you don't even know who you are anymore. you question your meaning of friendship, the decisions you make and worst you doubt yourself for getting into this mess.
but you have to start somewhere. so I am healing and rebuilding my life simultaneously. to those that have made me feel that way I pray that you never have to go through that painful ordeal. i will heal and forgive. i will also rebuild knowing that through everything all i wanted has always been to help those around me. if my ways seem intense or out of line please feel free to let me know and let me tweak so i can move forward and understand others even more.
this month i owe to those handful that have proven that i can still do great things in life. you guys were simply there to help me sort through the mess that I was. thank you because now i start attracting good things into my life again. turning my lemons into lemon ping (malaysian lemonade)!
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